The Way To Bleed

You know there are million ways to bleed but you are by far my favorite. I always wish you were here, I am there, I wish it was different.. I wish your wishes come true, I wish wishes do come true. I'd wish you back. You are my favorite scar. I know it's selfish for me to say but please don't leave me. I will do my best to live. I promise.

The Colours of What We Have

When you have done the things you've done.

When I tell you I'll meet you at the door, and you tell me you're sorry. That I have no reason left to worry.

When you hit the ground in a most peculiar way, and I tell you to wait and you tell me I'll be sorry. That you have no reason left to worry. 

When I am more than you can take, just give me back.

If you're tired of trying to fall asleep, sleep on it and try again tomorrow.
If you're all out of promises, I have one left for you: The Earth is still here as long as you're alive.
If you want to yell out your frustrations, I'll understand, just understand that the whole world is screaming, mostly complaining about the noise.

If you're worried about having the poetry knocked out of you of you when you're older, don't. Old blood bleeds as good as new.
If you've got nothing left to feel, just think of me and please do not walk away.

If there's anything else, let me know.

-russ d' great

the thin line between HATE and LOVE!

Have you ever noticed how, in romantic relationships, it seems we are always riding the line between adoring and abhorring our partner? Things will be going fine; you’re adrift on a sea of love and affection—then your significant other does something you don’t like. Suddenly, you’re fuming, thinking, ‘It’s OVER!’—your lover changed to villain in less time than it takes to change your socks.

Why does this happen? Is it simply human nature, or perhaps the nature of romantic love? Why do these relationships make us so crazy, turning even the calmest participants into self-contained roller coasters of emotion, causing us to do and say things we neither mean nor understand?  

While hormones and conflicting egos play their part in the fickleness of our love partnerships, the real problem has more to do with an outdated idea (or ideal) of romantic love—a model designed to create conflict and leave us disappointed.

Mention the word ‘love’ or talk about ‘falling in love’, and, for many of us, an idealized image from a Hollywood movie comes to mind, perhaps a romantic scene from a piece of literature or a favorite love song. This is love, according to the popular media: There’s a conflict of some kind, but, eventually, the couple ends up getting together. Then there’s that big kiss, maybe a marriage scene, and the two live happily ever after…except things never seem to work out quite as conveniently in the world we find ourselves in. Where does that ideas come from?

These were tales of valiant knights slaying dragons and rescuing beautiful maidens (who, subsequently and without-fail, would fall in love with the knight—true love, problem free and never-ending). How many stories, movies, plays and TV shows end in marriage?

This idealistic approach to the subject of attraction has endured in popular culture all the way up until today. To prove it, just head out to your local movie mega-plex; from drama to comedy, there’s no shortage of idealized romance to lose oneself in.

But I like romantic movies!

These types of stories are uplifting and inspiring, but as we see these themes again and again, they can become symbols imbedded in our subconscious. The majority of romantic stories we hear are the ones we are told as children. When a child hears a story that addresses adult themes (like courtship and marriage), they absorb that information and take the story at face value. Combined with whatever other programming the child receives from their parents, peers and the media, they assume, “This is how things will probably play out for me.” 

What many of us don’t realize when we’re out there in the dating world or trying to make things work in a long-term relationship is that this thing we’re trying to attain—what we view as our most important relationship—is a combination of idealization and fantasy, not at all real. 

This romantic image is one that most of us have been building since childhood, and it is an ideal that could include unrealistic expectations. When our expectations aren’t met, we can start to feel completely out of control. Sometimes we behave childishly or act out, but it’s understandable that it would be difficult to wield these emotions—our motivations originate in decisions we made about our adult life at a very young age when our understanding of the world was more black and white.

When we superimpose our fabricated picture of romantic love onto a real situation, we’re going to be disappointed. That’s because people don’t behave like fantasies. They behave like people. They do unexpected things. They can, at times, be selfish, distant or weak. They can also be kind, inspiring and selfless. This is the beauty of being human.

However, if our fantasies are running the show, we may decide that we love someone based solely on physical appearance and sexual attraction. When this happens, the other person is related to as our possession—an object, not a human being. We may experience truly positive emotions at first, but, if unsavory aspects of the other person are revealed, our perfect vision is shattered, and soon we’re flooded with judgments about them.

In the book The Art of Happiness, his Holiness the Dalai Lama says that, in order to build relationships that will satisfy us over time, we must learn to “get to know the deeper nature of the person and relate to her or him on that level, instead of merely on the basis of superficial characteristics.”

Love is always available to each of us—if we are open to it. If you can love yourself for who you truly are, you’ll be able to extend the same love and trust to others. As trust, acceptance and sharing become a theme in your relationship, you’ll find you experience less extreme ups and downs and more sustained feelings of intimacy and warmth.

confused right now,

russ d'great

cloud9 feeling...

colorful ballpens make my daily life and activities more colorful than ever!

i received colorful ballpens as a gift this day and it's cute, amazing, awesome and helpful coz if you personally know me, ballpens play an important role in my life..lolololol.. but it's true so i am very happy i received a pink, green, violet, blue and red pens.. hahaha... 

have you wondered sometimes that you are discovering something that's very unusual? the way you exchanged smiles, the way he turned his eyes away when you're looking at him, the way you pick on each other, the irritating attention and the blunt cares,it's like you're in  cloud 9,  where the stars are above you, the moon seems to look at you, and at daytime the sun pour all her love on you, it's like you are in love secretly, it's like you are in love for the very first time, the very first time you met, the very first time you exchange thoughts, it's like the first time again, the refreshing feeling when his skin unintentionally touches yours, when you smell the shampoo he's using, the perfume he's wearing, it's very beautiful to fell in love for the very first time although honestly it's the second time already... it's remarkable when you feel that way! that's why i'm sharing this before i will sleep.. if it's a right thing at the wrong time? can you handle the feeling to stay that way or you'll ask that the feeling will go away? 

^.^ russ d'great

mga tip sa pagpapakamatay part 1!!!

si bob ong ay nakilala ko nung ako'y nag-aaral pa lamang sa kolehiyo, siya ang best selling author sa library namin, most of the time naka out lahat ng libro nya kasi hiniram na ng mga kabataang walang ibang gawin kundi ang magbasa ng mga pangaral at kalokohang madalas topic sa mga libro nya. di naman ako fanatic pero bilib ako sa kanya, simple lang 'yong mga life lessons na tinutumbok nya  pero tumatagos sa puso naman kahit papano, ang pinakabilib ako dun eh 'yong humor na dala ng bawat salitang nilalaman ng sinulat nya. siguro kung kilala ko siya sa totoong buhay eh magka-vibes siguro kami kasi gusto ko talaga 'yong mga mapagbirong tao, hahaha... nakakatuwa lang 'tong nabasa kong mga tip sa pagpapakamatay na isinulat syempre ni bob ong.. tip sya sa pagpapakamatay diba? pero hindi ibig sabihin gusto ko na ding magpakamatay, sa mga babasahin nyo, marerealize nyo na parang kabaligtaran ang gusto nyang iparating, na hindi dapat magpakamatay, na dapat pahalagahan natin ang buhay at ang mga mahal natin sa buhay. It's where humor comes in. 

TIP SA PAGPAPAKAMATAY- PART 1 MUNA!

1.

Bago ang lahat, alamin muna ang tamang dahilan sa pagsu-suicide. Kung ang problema mo ay dahil lang naman sa wala kang pera o iniwan ka ng minamahal mo, hindi ka dapat magpatiwakal. Ang mundo ay tambak ng mga tao na pwede mong mahalin at ang pera naman ay pwedeng kitain, kaya hindi ka dapat mawalan ng pag-asa.

2.

Kung desidido ka na sa gagawin mo at sa tingin mo ay meron kang tamang dahilan para gawin ito, ang susunod mong hakbang ay ang pagpili ng paraan ng pagpapakamatay. Ang mga popular dahilan ay ang pagbibigti, pag-inom ng lason, pagtalon sa riles ng tren, pagbaril sa ulo (o sa puso, kung wala ka ng ulo pero buhay ka pa rin), at paglalaslas ng pulso.

Ang mga jologs na paraan ay ang pagtalon sa mataas na gusali, pagpapasagasa sa EDSA, at pagpigil ng hininga

Tandaan na maari ka pang mabuhay pag nagkamali ka sa pagsasagawa ng mga nabanggit, kaya pumili lamang ng isa na hiyang sa iyo.

Bukod dyan, marami sa mga paraan na ito ang makalat at nakakapangit. Dyahe naman kung pagtitinginan ng mga tao yung mukha mo sa ataul tapos mukha kang dehydrated na langaw.

3.

Sumulat ng suicide note. Eto ang exciting. Dito pwede mong sisihin lahat ng tao, at wala silang magagawa. Sabihin mo na hindi mo gustong tapusin ang iyong buhay, kaso lang bad trip sila lahat.

Pero wag ding kalimutang humingi ngtawad sa bandang huli para mas cool pag ginawang pelikula ni Carlo J. Caparas ang buhay mo.

At tandaan, importante ang suicide note para malaman ng mga tao na nagpakamatay ka nga at hindi namurder. Sa ganitong paraan maiiwasan ng PNP ang pagkuha sa kalye ng kahit sinong tambay bilang suspect.

nakuha ko pa talagang mgsulat ngayon samantalang i'm super exhausted talaga, it's not a surprise anymore for us na marami kaming ginawa kanina sa office kasi payroll period nga naman ngayon, maraming ngbayad ng bills, ng deposit, withdrawal, lahat na, nakakapagod talaga,tapos sinalihan pa ng palpak kong officemate na gusto ko sanang sabihin mgpakamatay nalang siya, pero super mean ko na kung gagawin ko pa 'yon and it's not right to do so, kaya nga sinulat ko 'to para makakuha siya ng tip kung sakali man..haha. joke lang.. actually, private property ko 'tong blog kong 'to kumbaga dito ako nakakapagbuhos ng totoong nilalaman ng damdamin ko, at nakakapag-whine din ako dito so super secret to sa mga taong bina blog ko..hahaha.. kaya... goodluck sa kanila at least may outlet ako.. hay.. hanggang dito nalang muna mga pipz...

@_@ russ d'great

what to do with your lips...

An excerpt from BOY MEETS GIRL, Say Hello To Courtship...

Only few days after I bought my cell phone, the calls started pouring in. Unfortunately, they weren't for me. It turned out that my phone number had previously belonged to a Domino Pizza Shop. Now at all hours of the day and night people were ringing me with their orders.

"I'm sorry," I'd say, "but this isn't Dominos Pizza. Yes, you dialed the right number. It's just that now it's the number of my cell phone. No, I'm afraid I don't have Domino's new number. Yes. I'm sure they'll honor you two-for-one coupon. Bye."

Most people understood. What I found hilarious were the callers who refused take no for an answer.
"I'd like to order a large cheese pizza," a lady told me.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, this isn't Domino's," I said. "You've reached my personal cell phone."
"How much will it cost?" she asked.
"I have no idea, this is not..."
"Well, When can you deliver it?" she persisted.
"I can't bring you a pizza."
"You don't deliver?!"
"I don't make pizza!"

---------More than just talking------------

Communication. It's not such a simple thing, is it? Besides the complications created by our sinful tendencies and the differences between men and women, we have to deal with wrong phone numbers!

Even the best relationships have their "cheese pizza" moments. These are the times when instead of talking to each other, we talk past each other; time when we're so easily offended of the real issue; moments when we're so focused on ourselves that we forget that hearing isn't they know how to talk.
A lot of people assume that since they know how to talk, they must know how to communicate. If only it were that easy. Like what happened to the conversation above, they really weren't communicating. Why weren't they? Because communication is more than just speaking; it's listening. And it's more that just listening; it's understanding and properly responding to what we've heard. Clear communication occurs when two people know not only what to say, but when and how to say it.

Many couples assume that since they talk a lot and have romantic feelings for each other, they're communicating well. That isn't necessarily true. It's possible to exchange thousands of words with people and never learn what they believe or value or feel. It's possible to fall in love with what you imagine someone is like, yet never see him or her for who they really are.

Maybe the title made you think that it's going to discuss the proper timing and technique for locking lips with your sweetheart. Sorry - you won't find that here. The most important thing your lips can do right now isn't kissing, it's communicating.

love hurts...

It is difficult to imagine that the one you have such strong feelings for could ever hurt you. It is also hard to imagine that you could ever cause the one you love pain, especially when everything is so new. The beginning is always sweet and nice, but sooner or later something less than perfect happens, and one of you gets hurt.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "you always hurt the one you love?" It's so true isn't it? You may not mean to, but at some point, you may do something, or not do something, that your significant other is hurt by. The opposite is also true. As a matter of fact, relationships sometimes end because of this fact.

How to Handle the Pain Love Brings You

If you are in a healthy relationship, the hurt was unintentional. It is important to realize that your loved one didn't plan on causing you pain. Try to see the situation from their perspective. You should try to calm your emotions down, and then talk to them about what they were thinking, or why they did what they did, or said what they said. Be willing to see it their way. Once you hear them out, they will be more willing to hear you out. Explain how you perceived what they said or did, and why you felt hurt by it.

You might not be able to communicate this right away. You should wait until an appropriate time, when you are not clouded with emotion. This is easier said than done, but it can be at least be done. Waiting can help you avoid saying things that you don't mean because you are hurt and angry. Get it off of your chest by talking it out or writing a brief note or email. Don't just hold a grudge, because it will only hurt you more.

What to Do When Your Loved One Feels Hurt

The most important things that you can do is listen. Showing that you care about their feelings is essential to helping them to heal quickly. You might not understand why they are hurt initially, because you didn't mean to hurt them. Make an effort to see it from their perspective, and try to help them understand your intentions better. Communicate to them that you do care about their feelings.

Apologize if you did something wrong. Make a sincere effort to acknowledge that you could have done things differently, and express plans to avoid that kind of thing in the future. Make it clear that you didn't mean to hurt them, and that you want to avoid doing it again.

What Not To Do

If you feel hurt, don't:
-yell
-try to get revenge or make them pay
-hold a grudge
-demand an apology
-insist that you are right

If your loved on is hurt, don't:
-disregard their feelings as silly
-say you're sorry unless you actually mean it
-pretend to understand
-insist that you are right

Ultimately, clear and honest communication can help heal the hurt. Be willing both to listen and to talk. If forgiveness, care, and understanding are working parts of your relationship, there won't be that much pain. You will enjoy a long lasting and healthy relationship that is true to life. 

russ d'great 

true love waits...

I don't believe in destiny, I believe in God's will. Why? Because for me it doesn't mean that when you're compatible with each other, you're meant for each other, you're meant to be together. Perhaps, you may start asking yourself about romantic relationships and you wonder if it is really true love. We heard so many breakups already, with all the various stories, distressing call-offs and crying moments. Sound so absurd, but for me I believe it is just normal.

Heart’s are breakable. Expect that it will be like a broken glass that you will be having a very hard time mending every broken pieces. Geez... whatever it is when it comes to heart matters, it is definitely incomparable.When it comes to that, everything will be so peculiar.I remember about Joshua Harris' statement in the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" which really strikes me a lot. "Why shop, if you will never buy?" Yes exactly try to think about it, we dont'buy a dress and don't wear it, or we don't buy a cell phone and not use it, right? Same asstrue as "What's the purpose of entering into a relationship when you're not yet ready to get married?" Though I;m not talking about getting married here or the so - called "going steady"I'm referring to the romantic relationship which many of the young people engage nowadays.And I'm not excluded to that, of course as young as I am I also would want to experience the giggling sensation and the cloud nine moments. Well, what can I say, curiosity is all part of growing up.

I've been in an eight-month relationship before, I started dating at the age of 18 and at that age ,it is quite surprising for a young girl who enter into a serious relationship already. I really thought it was already true love but I was completely wrong. It was then I realized that I was just caught up into the game of love. So bad I lost it. I felt like a moron and stupid that time.Then I started asking myself what's with the pain? It was all part of life's journey, a very unforgettable experience that made me a better person. But now, every time I thought about it, i just laugh at it.When it comes to dating relationship it is really interesting and captivating. We just need to wait, it's cliche but "patience is a virtue."

Patience... Quite broad right? But let me give you an illustration. All of us long to give ourselves completely to someone who will love us for who we are. But are we really sure if that person will really be the person that we will going to face during our "I DO’s"? I will be very hypocrite if I say yes, perhaps a lot of us right now are very much eager to have a relationship right now and wished that he or she might be the perfect one. We are used of the pattern of the dating relationship, the so called "trial and error" or the common one "collect and select", what a waste of time isn't it? We might miss God's perfect love story and missed the one He has prepared for us, or we might regret it one day.

WE MUST WAIT. Though somehow easier said that done right? I once ask, myself why should I wait when I know that the feeling is right? I may have a point there but feelings and commitment is different. I'm not going to marry a person whom I only have feelings with or I want to marry that person because we are compatible with each other and we've been together for a very long time. What are the bases? Love cannot be measured on the compatibility of each party or the years they've been through. Love is patient, love is always willing to wait.

When? When? When? right time is God's perfect time, because in His time, everything is beautiful, everything is perfect and beyond compare. 

When? It is when we are ready to face certain responsibility, because true love is not all about giggles and cloud nine and true love is not all about holding hands and hugs,but it is all about patience, selflessness and commitment. WAITING TIME is NEVER WASTED TIME,because when you wait, God will really bring him or her in your dream wedding and say "here is the one I have created just for you..." But it can only happen if you wait and pray, because as God's promise if you will delight yourself to Him, He will give you the desires of your heart, and God never promise and can't keept it. If two people are meant to be together despite distance and time, TRUE LOVE WAITS forever by God's will...

***

Forgive me for some grammatical errors . If you have noticed one just inform me coz it’s kinda late now and i’m so sleepy already.. hehe.. thanks for the read...

Russ d’great

these songs are on my playlist...

for the past sixth months, so let's start from august last year, i was hooked up with this text frenzy, i've known him from my school days, but i wasn't captured with what i've seen that time. it was just very amazing that through this very own social network, like facebook so to speak we became connected and to my amusement he was kind of charming in his own way and he was a huge fan of alternative songs, he knows how to play the guitar and there were even times that he sang to me over the phone.. and to my pleasure talking to him and spending text nights with him was worth it and even if he's different now, the songs he sang and recommended to me are still running in my head, it sucks but i'm enjoying the songs anyway so for now i guess i will not yet change my playlist.. as far as i can remember here are the songs...

@i remember that day when my wallet was lost and i went to this bar at taft ave near gil puyat LRT station, that was the very worst day of my life and i was telling him blah blah blah... then when i called him, i didn't got an answer but i got a song, he said it was accidental but the song gave me some relief, he's a person who knows his way in..and i salute him for that.. 

@very very dramatic song, it's like a song for the lonely, but it's a great song, and this was the first song i heard from him that sounded clear.. so cooL..

@this song, he knew that i wanted to hear him sing everytime and one day when he got home he just said that he found some old lyrics somewhere in their house and asked if i wanna hear it and of course i immediately said yes.. this was the song.. cheesy coz i don't like john lloyd but maybe he remembered someone with this song, even if i know he's hurt na naman that time coz he's a kind of person who dwells in his loneliness but i enjoyed the song..

@this song was totally awesome, i fell in love with this song the moment i heard it from him, i become cheesier and cheesier here but i'm telling the truth here and nothing but the truth, though the message of this song was kind of sad but the tunes kind of catchy and it's nice..

@he loves this song, every song he loves, he shared it with me till now but not often anymore, i was hesitant to check this song coz the band name kind of reminded me of someone but nonetheless the song is cool so it worth listening..

@he recommended this song to me, i love this song and as far as i know he also love this song very much, i dunno maybe because of the lyrics, it's kinda sad, it's about betrayal, and finding out that after being together you just realized that you're not meant for each other, it's a sad song but i enjoy the melody, the tune.. it relieves my stress..

@but with all that sad songs above, i mean with all that sad lyrics with the songs above, here's a very sweet song that he liked very much.. please let me be the one who calls you baby all the time..

@and for the closing part, i'm including this song for your satisfaction, this song reminds me of my childhood, back then i just thought this song was very good, very cool but now for me this song is the saddest heartbreak song, why do you love this? please be happy... that's what i'm asking.. you can do better, you can strive for the better..

it's just fun remembering those happy moments rather than being bitter with what's left.. honestly for those people who knows me, this wasn't easy, this wasn't me but i'm trying to get out from my comfort zone for you to realize that somebody cares, even if you think it's only me but at least somebody cares and just by knowing it, isn't life worth living?

thanks for the read you guyz..

russ d'great

it's time to say goodbye...

The end of any relationship is difficult, whether you've spent years together or just a few months. Love isn't put to rest overnight and can linger long after you've said goodbye. Some experts say it takes half as long as the relationship lasted to process it and move on. Others say grief holds itself unaccountable and to no specific timetable, that it can go on for months and years. Rather than the duration of your time spent with each other, it is the quality, the intensity, of this time that will dictate the length and breadth of grief. A few shorts weeks with a woman/man you felt a true connection with might be much harder to get over than a woman/man you liked and were with for years, but never quite meshed with. Both relationships might've been viable at one time, yet both led to the same place anyway - saying goodbye. And it is in the parting (yes, parting is such sweet sorrow. Or, sometimes, parting is such sweet relief!) where you can begin again. Except of course if you aren't really ready to say goodbye.

Breakups can be brutal, on both sides. Usually, because of a shared history and strong emotional connections, the one leaving doesn't want to hurt the one being left, and the one being left doesn't want to be let go. Those early, pure feelings of desire, which brought you two together, become tangled up in ego, in resentment and pride and the need for self-protection. You close up and off. You turn away from what you admired and respected in the other, because it's just too damn painful to see it and know that it wasn't enough, that in the end you just "weren't feeling it."

If you are the one leaving, be kind. Make the end as clean and clear as possible. Or, as a good friend of mine says, "Be sure to use a sharpened machete, not a rusty butter knife." If you cut it off, make sure that it stays off. There's nothing worse than a wishy-washy breakup. If this is what you really want, then be strong in your convictions, because the other will go on hoping against hope that you'll eventually wake up and change your mind, that you'll see what you're missing and come back around. Sometimes, you will, only to leave again. Sometimes, you won't, and regret it.

If you are the one being left, be kind to yourself. Everyone will tell you not to take it personally and you shouldn't. Try to separate your wounded ego from the reality of the situation - that for whatever reason, this other person simply didn't want what you wanted at the exact same time. I hate to reduce good, productive relationships down to timing, but more often than not and base on experience, timing is all we really have to go on. If he wasn't in the right place in his life, there's nothing you could've done to change that. Patience might win out in the end, but then again, so does resentment. You can only wait around so long for someone to get his act together before you realize that "getting his act together" is just an act and that you deserve far more than this.

Do not make someone a priority, if he only makes you an option. And that goes for the grief you will feel as well. Try to contain it. Let it preoccupy you less and less each day. Give it a few minutes and stick to those minutes. Remove messages, make a new playlist in your ipod, mp3 player if you're on track of his or her  songs, avoid tv shows that reminds you of some sweet memories you've shared, any object that reminds you of him or her. At least for now. Later, much later, you might look back fondly on what was, but right now, you've got to let go of what isn't. If it's a nice day, go fly a kite, take a walk on the beach, look at some art, drink with some friends, have a life, party a little. Find what makes you happy again, because that's who she/he fell in love with to begin with. And that's who you are anyway, even if you can't see yourself clearly through the tears. But you will. You will. 

it's hard to say goodbye...seriously.. :'(

cheers to my 33rd post...

LOVE VS. INSANITY

What is Insanity? I took the effort of trying to find a dictionary inside my drawer. Unfortunately, there was none. I couldn’t define insanity for you then. Oh no, I can’t, but I can set an example. I know that there is no dictionary inside my drawer but still I expected to find one. That’s an example of insanity in its simplest form. Love and Insanity. Within the few months of my being hooked-up with a certain text frenzy, one of the many things that I have learned is the parallelism of Love and Insanity. I came to realize that these two words are somewhat synonymous. This is manifested by the countless stories of experiences documented by different individuals in real life or in the internet. Love life with a plot a la telenovela, with a complete casting from supporting actors to the usual protagonists and antagonists - peers, parents or classmates to name a few. 

What do I see? I see insanity in a broad daylight. Love life recycled from one generation to the next. Insanity inherited by yet another group of people in the same environment at a different time. I find it insane considering that our way of life has indeed made a giant leap into what we call the future and yet the same old pains, troubles or problems haunt people’s love life.Define Love. Love is this. Love is that. Love is here. Love is there. There isn’t a single definition for love. Worst is, one definition conflicts with the other. No, conflict is an understatement, contradict would have been better. In binary, a “1” is never a “0” and vice versa. Treating one as the other is insanity. Love bringing either happiness or sorrow, or sometimes both, is insanity. 

Does insanity define love? Or, is insanity love, in a negative form?Let us get back to my previous example. That is an analogy illustrating insanity. Now, let’s take love. We know that our love will get to nowhere but we take the risk of gambling with love. The result is we get hurt. And that is insanity. Foreseeing darkness ahead but still taking the courage to step into the dark. The result is disaster. In real life, it’s like you know that he’s married but what the hell! And that is love. Or, you can feel he cares for somebody but still you convince yourself that he loves you, because you love him. And again, that is love. And what about this latest crap? When you love someone you gave that someone the opportunity to hurt you. Isn’t that insanity to the max or just plain masochism?

Do I speak justly then when I say that those who love are insane? Would you still love?I assume that our answer to both questions is a unanimous “Yes!” with a capital Y and an exclamation point choreographed with a clenched fist and an authoritative facial expression to stress our certainty, unaware that we are already despising the word “logic”. And again, that clearly manifests insanity.We are used to saying the phrase “falling in love” to mean “being in love”. Isn’t it “to fall” connotes a negative meaning? Isn’t it insanity then that we allow ourselves to “fall” in love? But wait, others say, “high with love”, to mean addicted with love. Just the same, and addiction is even worse. To let our selves get “high” with love is again an act of insanity. 

To fall is to go down contradicting the word high. With these two contradicting results associated with love, setting love in front of a well-polished mirror, love vividly reflects insanity.But despite this shocking analogy, I would still say, “If to love is to be insane, please, take all my sanity away.” It is with pride that I’ll shout to the world, “Call me insane because I am in love!”

I'm just awakened by the thought that I need to write something that interests me and interests other people because somebody just randomly left me a message at the side bar saying she's a dedicated reader of my blog. I was up from a very long sleep. Hope you find it interesting pipz..

read and read,

russ d'great

life's lessons on relationships

I guess we all have our different opinions on how things should be. Whether it is to have someone be honest in a relationship or to work hard in a relationship. No matter what you do people have that view of how relationship will work, however, some can change their opinions. How is that? When two people truly want a relationship to work don't they first have to work at it? We have all been told that communication is the key to a relationship but why do people always find it hard to communicate? We think that we know a person but then they flip a 180 and completely shut you down. 

1) Never ever think a long distance relationship will work. The problem is that when you are so far apart from one another it may build distrust or eventually have one or the other people cheat on you. If you already know the person then it should be fine (usually) for a short period of time.  

2) Communication is really the important factor for a relationship. If your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't communicate with you then you need to find someone that can. We can't read minds so it has to be out on the table otherwise the other person won't know what's wrong. Be especially aware if someone won't communicate with you what they have in the past. This is perhaps the largest red flag to an eventually break-up. Be mindful that if the other party waits too long or flat out doesn't want to talk about it then they don't really want to be with you anymore. Again COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY.

3) Compromise is the 2nd most important thing. We all think that we have the best way of doing things but that is our own perception, our own reality if you will. This will always conflict with someone else's take on reality. You have to try and compromise to make things work otherwise their is no future but arguing and bickering. 

4)Working through problems. In a relationship you need to work on the problems. If either party doesn't want to work on the problem at hand then the relationship is over. Don't over think he problems though and discuss them with your partner. A relationship takes two people!! Trying to figure out problems involves both parties. (generally those that try to solve the problems on their own tend break off the relationship because they try things their own way)

5) Look to the future but don't expect it. In other words if the person is truly making strides to fix their life or change themselves a little don't take their progress so far and think of them like that 20 years down the road. People always change but you don't know how. You can't automatically assume someone is going to be immature all of their life (although I've seen it happen)

On a personal note, guys/gals, if you see someone making an effort let them know you appreciate it! If it's something where you aren't going to get serious (marriage) in a couple of years then wait and see. If you truly value the person and love them give them a chance. Remember that a person can't change who they are over night. Also remember that although there are things that you would like the other person to change they will probably want you to change some things too. I know that I have put as much as I can into my relationships but it never seems like it is appreciated. I guess if those people who I have gone out with truly valued our relationship then they could wait for a few changes. 

Second chances are what we only have in life, although sometimes it's easy to say that it would never happen and it will just be a waste but if it does, if gives other people the feeling that they still deserve something good and it gives you the feeling that you did something better to the other person involved.

read and read,

russ d'great

diagnose a healthy relationship...

i found it so funny when i'm making my life so complicated when i wanted it to be just simple... little things make me happy, like when somebody ask me if i eat already, or when somebody shares an umbrella when it's raining, or when anybody shares their food with me, life's too short to be bitter all the time, sometimes we need to sugar it up, and according to science, sugar is an energy booster, our life needs an energy booster and for some they found it in their partners in life, their husband, their boyfriend, their girlfriend that's why i'm sharing this... take a read you guyz...

HOW TO DIAGNOSE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

If a doctor were to give your relationship the equivalent of a thorough medical exam, what vital signs would he check? What are the symptoms of health and illness when it comes to love?

1. Check your pulse.

It should be steady, but certain things should still make your heart race: the sound of his laugh, his key in the lock, his lips on your neck. (Note to those in new relationships: Expect an elevated heart rate most of the time, even when he’s not in the same room.) A flagging pulse could indicate a.) the need for a long, romantic weekend away; or b.) low blood pressure, in which case you should consume more salt.

2. Take a nice, deep breath.

Now exhale slowly. Good. You should feel relaxed, at home and completely yourself around your partner. If you experience shortness of breath, tension or a peculiar fluttering sensation (and you are not in the flush of first love or planning your wedding, both of which can cause mild anxiety), consult an expert – have a long heart-to-heart with your best friend about whether this connection can sustain you over the long haul.

3. Test your reflexes.

Why does it matter if your knee jerks when it’s tapped? That spontaneous, involuntary response reveals that the body’s inner machinery is working smoothly. By the same token, certain reflexes indicate the same thing about your relationship. When you’re down, do you turn to him? When he rubs your back or holds your hand, do you feel a warm glow? When he tells you abut a big success, do you swell with pride? If he goes out without you, are you happy that he’s enjoying his friends but also concerned for his safety? Yes, in a healthy relationship, you should feel connected to your partner – glad for his happiness, comforted by his support, secure in your bond – but not totally dependent on constant affirmation.

4. Tickle your funny bone.

Scientific research has found that one of the best predictors of long-term relationship health is the ability to laugh together. Really – researchers at the University of Seattle have studied this stuff. You should be chuckling with each other at least once a day- and sitcoms don’t count. If you’re not, you might want to switch off the TV and consider rediscovering what it is about this person that tickled you in the beginning. If you have to, make a list of the things that make you laugh. Playing in the shower? When he does his Johnny Bravo imitation? C’mon, unearth your comedy repertoire.

5. Bend over and touch your toes.

In other words – how flexible are you? The main quality that makes a relationship healthy can be boiled down to one word: Willingness.You have to be willing to change, willing to look at yourself, willing to put aside your needs to take care of the needs of your partner. Basically, it’s the willingness to do whatever it takes. The idea of willingness encompasses commitment and flexibility. If you can bend to suit your partner and he can stretch to accommodate you, then you’re in good shape. And your relationship seems pretty healthy, too.

Currently feeling: blessed, happy

conflict and communication....

...the absence of conflict doesn't equal good communication...

In their book LOVE THAT LASTS, Gary and Betsy Rucucci share

ten tips for communication that can help you when you're expe-

riencing conflict in your relationship...

1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly, but

without accusing or attacking the othe person (Proverbs 11:9)

2. Choose words, expressions, and a tone of voice that are kind

and gentle. Don't use speech that could easily offend or spark

an argument. (Proverbs 15:1)

3. Dont' exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme

words like never and always (Ephesians 4:25)

4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes

before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.

5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your

grievances. Getting even isn't the goal - you want to get things

resolved. (Romans 12:17-21)

6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling and needing.

Try to detect his or her underlying concerns (James 1:19)

7.Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument.

Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin

(Ephesians 4:26)

8.Don't hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick

to forgive the other person. Make sure you don't hold a grudge.

(Luke17:3-4)

9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you

both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. En-

courage each other as you press toward a solution (Romans14:19)

10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at

the right time in the right way for the right reasons!

Remember, conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. And don't be

surprised if you experience it. It's a sign that you're really getting

to know each other. Don't run from it; instead, ask for God's help

to humbly and lovingly resolve it..