conflict and communication....

...the absence of conflict doesn't equal good communication...

In their book LOVE THAT LASTS, Gary and Betsy Rucucci share

ten tips for communication that can help you when you're expe-

riencing conflict in your relationship...

1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly, but

without accusing or attacking the othe person (Proverbs 11:9)

2. Choose words, expressions, and a tone of voice that are kind

and gentle. Don't use speech that could easily offend or spark

an argument. (Proverbs 15:1)

3. Dont' exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme

words like never and always (Ephesians 4:25)

4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes

before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.

5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your

grievances. Getting even isn't the goal - you want to get things

resolved. (Romans 12:17-21)

6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling and needing.

Try to detect his or her underlying concerns (James 1:19)

7.Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument.

Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin

(Ephesians 4:26)

8.Don't hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick

to forgive the other person. Make sure you don't hold a grudge.

(Luke17:3-4)

9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you

both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. En-

courage each other as you press toward a solution (Romans14:19)

10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at

the right time in the right way for the right reasons!

Remember, conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. And don't be

surprised if you experience it. It's a sign that you're really getting

to know each other. Don't run from it; instead, ask for God's help

to humbly and lovingly resolve it..

saturday night..

saturday night was a blast, mingled with my batch mates again, we sang happy happy and drank till we dropped.. 

it's a nice feeling after five (5) days of work, it's super cool to unwind.. as they say vacations doesn't taste sweet if you have it everyday.. vacations, night outs, parties are the best after long hours, days of work.

honestly my mind doesn't work much right now, i enjoyed the videoke, i enjoyed the foods, i enjoyed the alcohol, i enjoyed the laughter, i enjoyed the silly things done, got a hangover yes, but still enjoyed the NBA game, Heat (win) vs. Nets and of course much enjoyed the overtime play of Spurs (win) vs. Rockets.. hahaha.. hope you understand my writing sorry for the grogginess.. peace out!

Gb+

russ d'great

awakening..

my love letter...

to whom it may concern...

it was a simple fine day when we somewhere, i  haven't even recognize you because it's been so long since i last saw you and mingled with you, actually we don't usually mingle with each other in those years past... i easily get along with fun and senseless people, but obviously with brains too, according to may favorite author "the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing" which is true for me.. i feel you're in need of someone it may not be me but i'm sticking around because i want to protect you, to love you, to make you happy without prejudice. for some reason you want a physical evidence that i exist, that i'm truly there, but this is a promise when everything else fails you can count on me and i will be there.. and i want you to believe that goodness dwells in everyone, righteousness is another level but goodness is the common ground, i believe you're a good person and i want you to believe that too, that you can do better things and better things to make it the best. someday you will realize that i'm the only person who will accept you for who you really are, and when that time comes just get back to me and i will still be backing you up coz when a person means a lot to me, it will be forever.. 

be happy, be safe, take care of yourself...

Gb+

russ d'great

beauty from pain...

i love stargazing, that's my pastime, my favorite pastime actually not until i've been living in the city, where you cant even see a single star at night due to pollution, people usually asks me why do i love it as my pastime, the answer is very simple, it somehow eases the pain i feel at the time, it somehow amuses me, it somehow gives me hope when everything else fails. 

when i was still a child, i will always wish upon a shooting star, and actually i'm still doing it until now, the difference is that when i was still a child, the faith is genuine that my wish would really come true but when i became bigger and bigger i came to realize that it's just wishful thinking but then i ask myself why i'm still wishing upon a shooting star until now, it's because i wanna hope.. i wanna believe that everything will be ok...

these past few days, i've heard a lot of problems, a lot of heartaches actually and i just wanna sweep them all away especially if you know the pain the other person is experiencing, is feeling, if you're in my shoes you would probably wanna see a shooting star to throw your wishes for those people whom you wanna help.. 

Gb+

russ d'great

playing God

"If God's the game that you're playing, well we must be more acquainted because it has to be so lonely, to be the only one who's holy." It's a line from a song by Paramore titled Playing God. It doesn't mean anything to me but it gives me the idea that even if God works alone, and He works for billions and trillions of people, He still knows everything, as I grew up I'm acquainted to God's teaching and everything that surrounds it, I grew up familiarizing everything, but that's while I was growing up, everything changes now, it sucks to be honest but I had to.

mind over heart..