Sunday, October 5, 2014

10 Important Things That Might Change Your Life After You Say Them

Don’t let this reality depress you; let it motivate you.  Let it push you to say what you've been meaning to say all along, to others and to yourself. Open your mind and heart and ponder on these 10 things you need to say before it's too late...

1. “I love you.” – Love rarely ever knows it’s own depth until it’s taken away.  So don’t wait around.  If you appreciate someone today, tell them.  If you love someone today, show them.  Hearts are often confused and broken by thoughtful words left unspoken, and loving deeds left undone.  There might not be a tomorrow.  Today is the day to express your love and admiration.

2. “I’m sorry.” – In this life, when you deny someone an apology, you remember doing so when you find yourself begging for forgiveness.  And if often happens just like that.  Why?  Because guilt festers.  Don’t do this to yourself.  An apology is the best way to have the last word.  The first to apologize is the strongest, and the first to move forward is the happiest.  Always and of course, don’t bother apologizing if you’re just going to continue doing the things you said sorry for.  Say it and mean it.  Look the person in the eyes when you say it, and feel it in your bones.

3. “I forgive you.” – A broken relationship that is mended through forgiveness can be even stronger than it once was.  But, of course, this isn't always the case.  So remember that forgiveness doesn't necessarily lead to healed relationships.  That’s not the point.  Some relationships aren't meant to be.  Forgive anyway, for your own sake, and then let what’s meant to be, BE.  Forgiveness allows you to focus on the future without combating the past.  Without forgiveness, wounds can never be healed, and progress can never be made.  What happened in the past is just one chapter.  Don’t close the book; just turn the page. 

4. “Thank you.” – Saying thank you for all your blessings is the first step to a happier life. Don't let the days pass without recognizing the efforts of everyone who helped you during hard times. Plus don't forget to thank God for the gift of life.

5. “I am a good person who is worthy of my own love and respect.” – Human beings can withstand a week without water, two weeks without food, many years of homelessness… but not loneliness.  It is the worst of all agonies.  And what’s the worst kind of loneliness?  The kind you can’t escape – when you are uncomfortable with yourself.  The truth is, a partner, or even just a friend, can add lots of beauty to your life, but they can’t fill a void that exists within you.  You alone are responsible for you own fulfillment.  If you feel hopelessly lonely whenever you’re alone, it means you’re in bad company.  It means you need to work on your relationship with yourself first.  

6. “I can’t always win, but I can always learn and grow.” – Don’t confuse poor decision-making with your destiny.  Own your mistakes.  It’s OK; we all make them.  Learn from life experiences so they can empower you!  What we call our destiny is really just our character, and that character can be enriched.  The knowledge that you are responsible for your actions and attitudes does not need to be discouraging either, because it means you are free to change your destiny.  Yes, the past has shaped your feelings and perspectives, but all this can be altered if you have the courage to reexamine how it formed you.  You can always alter your chemistry provided you have the courage to dissect your elements.

7. “It’s time to do something positive.” – The next time you have the urge to complain, stop and ask yourself what it is you truly want.  Do you just want to complain or do you want to improve your situation?  Somewhere within each complaint is a genuine desire to improve things, but the complaint by itself is never enough to make it happen.  So make the choice not to aggravate a bad situation with your complaints.  Choose instead to improve it with your positive thoughts, ideas and actions.

8. “I CAN do this!” – The obstacle is never enough to stop you.  What stops you is your belief that you can’t get past the obstacle.  The problem is not that you have too much of this or too little of that.  The problem is, you’re waiting for perfect conditions that don’t exist.  The achievements that really occur in life, take place in reality.  The things that really get done, get done in an imperfect world.  Don’t make excuses for why you can’t get it done.  Focus on all the reasons why you must make it happen.  There will always be challenges.  And there will always be things you can do to grow beyond them. 

9. “Their drama is NOT mine to deal with.” – Honestly, you can’t save most people from themselves, so don’t get sucked too deep into their drama.  Those who make perpetual chaos of their lives won’t appreciate you interfering with the commotion they’ve created, anyway.  They want your “poor baby” sympathy, but they don’t want to change.  They don’t want their lives fixed by YOU.  They don’t want their problems solved, their emotional addictions and distractions taken away, their stories resolved, or their messes cleaned up.  Because what would they have left?  They don’t know and they aren’t ready to know yet.  And it’s not your job to tell them.

10. “Life right now is pretty darn good.” – Some people wait all day for 5pm, all week for Friday, all year for the holidays, all their lives for happiness.  Don’t be one of them.  Don’t wait until your life is almost over to realize how good it has been.  The good life begins right now, when you stop waiting for a better one.

-russ d'great

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