SHUTDOWN....

i'm so lonely and confused, maybe this is the time to stop, maybe this is enough.. i grew up independently, i grew up learning things on my own, i've been very patient with life but this time, i can't help but cry, and it sucks coz it's like i'm just wasting my time for all those past days, past months, every hour and every minute i spent talking with  you.. it's never worth it and maybe this is the perfect time to be awake and move forward, there are a lot of better things out there and maybe i just need to rediscover them.. it seldom comes to me that i would regret the things i do, no regrets, just pains and happiness...

till next time, 

russ d'great

beep beep dyip...

today's declared holiday so as usual, i'm just in the house waiting for anybody to text me or call kung san pwede tumambay.. but while nobody's texting, naisip ko nalang magsulat dito.. a month ago, i stumble with this video, i actually linked this to my facebook account but i guess not everyboday has noticed it, so i'm linking this here in my page.. i found it hilarious and i'm a fan of moymoy palaboy, i actually subscribed to the feeds of their youtube channel.. it's just funny though and interesting how those people make money with their talent and silliness which i guess most of us filipinos are aware.. i just wanna start my day right, start my day happy even though the cloud's super dark here, it's like heavy rain is coming.. if you've experienced living in metro manila, you'll find this video super funny, interesting, and sobrang nakakaaliw.. coz believe me i've been here for almost 3 years and the traffic is super irritating and if you don't have your own car, public utility jeepneys are your best choice.. ;) so here's the tip on how to ride a jeepney in our country, philippines.. hehehe..

hope you enjoy the vid though just as i enjoy it.. hehehe.. :)

russ d'great

spare me nalang please...

wala namang masyadong nangyari sa buhay ko ngayong araw na 'to, actually i'm feeling so lonely pero, confused ako.. wala lang, gumising ako ng maaga as usual para magtrabaho, naligo, nagbihis, kumain, ngsipilyo, nag-ayos tapos yon ready for work na.. 

ganun din, sa office nandun si Rj, ang aking kakulitan sa loob ng opisinia, si thal, na aking kaibigan at si donna na sobrang kulet at galit din sa mundo tulad ko.. peace donskie! ganun lang talaga routine ng buhay ko, monotonous, nakakasawa, mas masarap pa ngang tumunganga.. hanggang sa may nabasa ako sa cp ko.. 

ganito un, ayoko nang ilagay pa ang nabasa ko dito verbatimly pero ang point ko nasira araw ko dahil dun, ang cellphone ay nakakainis, nakakairita, nakakakunsumi, masarap na nga hindi gumamit ng cellphone eh kung hindi lang kelangan sa trabaho.. cellphone lang yan, pero naasar na ako biruin ba naman eh pagbintangan akong nakipag-usap daw ako sa kaibigan nya or sa ex nya hindi ko alam, and gusto ko lang iklaro dito na hindi ako mahilig mangilam sa buhay ng ibang tao, kung may tiwala ka sakin magtiwala ka lang di ka magsisisi.. 

anong akala mo sa sarili mo? na i'm so into you  para gawin ko pa ang mga bagay na kung sa sarili mo tatanungin eh malamang sagutin mo ay hindi kung talagang kilala mo ako, tao din ako, marunong masaktan, magtampo, simple nga lang ako patawanin eh tapos ganun pa.. tanggap ko lahat ng sinabi mo, tanggap din kita bilang ikaw, kaya kong sagutin mga tanong mo pero pwede ba na ako naman ang intindihin mo? sawang sawa na ako sa ganito.. 

alam mong ayokong banggitin ang pangalan na un pero sarili mong tx di mo maintindihan, masarap ng hindi mag cellphone at magpalit ng number, lahat pa naman ng ginawa ko eh para lang mapalapit sayo, ngayon na nangyari na, kelangan ko ba magsisi? mag back out? hindi ko talaga alam, sawa na ako sa kakahabol at kakasabing pwde ka pang gumawa ng magagandang bagay sa buhay.. sana pag wala na ako at di mo na ako maramdaman eh maalala mo yong mga sinabi ko sayo.. 

masarap gawin ngayon: mgpalit ng number

masarap gawin sa cellphone: itapon sa basurahan

masarap gawin sayo: kalimutan kahit alam kong hindi mangyayari..

masarap sabihin sayo: tang-ina mo hindi ako usisera, sana sa 4 na buwan na tayo eh nag uusap eh may nalaman ka man lang tungkol sakin at sana eh may nakuha ka man lang mula sakin.. alam kong may memory gap ka pero ewan ko.. hindi ko na alam.. as in i really dunno.. :(

ayoko na magpatuloy,

russ d'great

words better left unsaid...

Some things are better left unsaid- simply because they are things that will never be forgotten- even if they are forgiven.

Some words can cut like a knife through a person's heart, and wound them permanently. Words can leave small scars on a person's heart, or, large gaping wounds that continue to fester over time- the kind of wound that never heals. Sounds a bit dramatic, doesn't it?

The old saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." is a myth.  Words can- and do- hurt. Sometimes the hurt will last only a few moments; a few days, a few weeks. Then there are things that stick with a person for a lifetime and continue to hurt and feel like 'fresh' wounds all over again every time he or she thinks about it.

Think back to whenever you were a child, did you over-hear something or was something said to you that just hurt so badly it was as bad as a physical blow? I know I did. It has taken me many years to deal with the hurt and be able to forgive years of verbal abuse. Notice I said "deal" with the hurt- Some things said will never go away or be forgotten, and they still hurt- twenty years later.

The problem with saying just whatever comes to mind or something that just "slips out", is that words can negatively impact a person's emotional well-being, self-esteem and their self-worth. I don't believe it is ever a good idea to speak out of raw anger or frustration, because you can wound someone deeply- even if that wasn't your original intent.

We all get frustrated, aggravated, and we lash out in anger when we are hurt or disappointed. Being aware of your emotions and your responses to what you are feeling is an important step in avoiding saying things that should never have been said at all. If a situation gets too heated- it's best to step back, exit the room and then reapproach the topic once both parties are calm.

If there's something you feel needs to be said to someone, then try to say it in the least hurtful way possible. Possibly preface it with "I truly don't want to hurt you, and please let me know if I do..." Keep lines of communication open, and be gentle and tender in your words.
Once words have been spoken, you can't take them back. Are your words loving and kind, even under stress?

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sana naintindihan nyo ang sinulat ko..hehe.. may mga bagay lang talaga na di na kelangan sabihin at baka makasakit pa sa ibang tao, though it hurts you first in the first place.. may mga bagay na mas naiintindihan mo kahit di na sinasabi sayo.. and i'm in the process of absorbing the words left unsaid... 

currently feeling: confused

current song in mind: apology by safetysuit

dito nalang muna,

russ d'great :(

10 blank things...

somebody sent me a message asking me to write about 10 blank things, maybe he just want to know the silly things i do or did, or the silly things i have in mind or the silly things i've wanted to do and discover and i come up with this things which are very unconventional and this would take you with what i'm up to 5 years ago.. here we go..

10 blank things..wahahah..

1. Dahil sa pagkabaliw ko sa i-witness at reporter's notebook ay nakakatulugan ko ang paghihintay sa mga shows na ito, (sa sofa ng bahay ako nakakatulog talaga..ahehe) this was way back when i was still in college.. hahahaha

2. i don't usually remember my dreams even if mala fantasy ang mga ito..hehe

3. kaya kong magtx while blogging and absorbing some ideas..haha.. i love multi-tasking..

4. i love movies but i'm not watching horror films coz it sucked me.. wahaha......

5. i lock my room when i want to cry outloud to God on my own style whatever it is secret nalang yon..hahaha

6. i laugh over text messages on my own until someone would say "hey! are you crazy?" well, i'm not.. gosh!

7.Believe it or not, i've seen the movies "a walk to remember" for about 25 times.. embarrassing? yeah but that's true and i dunno why until now i'm still watching it.. ahahaha

8. I wanna eat ice cream under the rain with someone special...

9. tumatambay ako sa Audio Visual Room ng skul namin nung college  para manood sa isang restricted room ng GOKUSEN at kung anu - ano pang anime sa hapon..hehe.. that's me..

10. dahil sobrang kalasingan ko, nalaman tuloy ng mga kasama ko that i love superman pero di ko alam kasi ang totoo nyan si batman talaga fave ko ( that was the worst thing i've ever done in my entire life in front of what we call audience coz there were like 6 people? but t'was ok and i'm moving forward..hehehe)

yun lang po.. bow..hehe

nagmamahal,

russ d'great

diagnose a healthy relationship...

i found it so funny when i'm making my life so complicated when i wanted it to be just simple... little things make me happy, like when somebody ask me if i eat already, or when somebody shares an umbrella when it's raining, or when anybody shares their food with me, life's too short to be bitter all the time, sometimes we need to sugar it up, and according to science, sugar is an energy booster, our life needs an energy booster and for some they found it in their partners in life, their husband, their boyfriend, their girlfriend that's why i'm sharing this... take a read you guyz...

HOW TO DIAGNOSE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

If a doctor were to give your relationship the equivalent of a thorough medical exam, what vital signs would he check? What are the symptoms of health and illness when it comes to love?

1. Check your pulse.

It should be steady, but certain things should still make your heart race: the sound of his laugh, his key in the lock, his lips on your neck. (Note to those in new relationships: Expect an elevated heart rate most of the time, even when he’s not in the same room.) A flagging pulse could indicate a.) the need for a long, romantic weekend away; or b.) low blood pressure, in which case you should consume more salt.

2. Take a nice, deep breath.

Now exhale slowly. Good. You should feel relaxed, at home and completely yourself around your partner. If you experience shortness of breath, tension or a peculiar fluttering sensation (and you are not in the flush of first love or planning your wedding, both of which can cause mild anxiety), consult an expert – have a long heart-to-heart with your best friend about whether this connection can sustain you over the long haul.

3. Test your reflexes.

Why does it matter if your knee jerks when it’s tapped? That spontaneous, involuntary response reveals that the body’s inner machinery is working smoothly. By the same token, certain reflexes indicate the same thing about your relationship. When you’re down, do you turn to him? When he rubs your back or holds your hand, do you feel a warm glow? When he tells you abut a big success, do you swell with pride? If he goes out without you, are you happy that he’s enjoying his friends but also concerned for his safety? Yes, in a healthy relationship, you should feel connected to your partner – glad for his happiness, comforted by his support, secure in your bond – but not totally dependent on constant affirmation.

4. Tickle your funny bone.

Scientific research has found that one of the best predictors of long-term relationship health is the ability to laugh together. Really – researchers at the University of Seattle have studied this stuff. You should be chuckling with each other at least once a day- and sitcoms don’t count. If you’re not, you might want to switch off the TV and consider rediscovering what it is about this person that tickled you in the beginning. If you have to, make a list of the things that make you laugh. Playing in the shower? When he does his Johnny Bravo imitation? C’mon, unearth your comedy repertoire.

5. Bend over and touch your toes.

In other words – how flexible are you? The main quality that makes a relationship healthy can be boiled down to one word: Willingness.You have to be willing to change, willing to look at yourself, willing to put aside your needs to take care of the needs of your partner. Basically, it’s the willingness to do whatever it takes. The idea of willingness encompasses commitment and flexibility. If you can bend to suit your partner and he can stretch to accommodate you, then you’re in good shape. And your relationship seems pretty healthy, too.

Currently feeling: blessed, happy

senti...

mixed up ang araw na to, naalala ko tuloy 'yong kanta ng ataris na the song for a mixed tape.. this is the time that i finally realize that i'm not alone, and i also realized na kahit anong gawin ko ay hindi nya ako maiintindihan and i need to leave him alone to fix whatever it is that he wants to fix... spent my whole night crying over nothing.. hindi ako kumain, gutom nako ngayon, wala lang, di ko alam anong gagawin.. i need to lay low, hindi ko alam, i just care too much for a person na i'm so afraid na pag di ko na sya nkakausap eh malilimutan nya ako, and i'm scared that he'll be alone coz he used to tell me that he's tired of life and his life sucks, kung alam lang nya na pati life ko eh sucker din.. di ko na talaga alam pinagsasabi ko.. 

para sayo parekoy, bai, kulot, a.ka. CHiCO.. para sayo ang mga lyrics na ito.. naiintindihan kita, di mo lang alam, goodbye for now.. alam mo kung pano ako mareach out... 

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"I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you" - my life would suck without you by kelly clarkson

"Stay with me, this is what I need, please?
Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?" - my heart by paramore

"Let me be the one who never leaves you all alone
I hold my breath and lose the feeling that I'm on my own
Hold me too tight, stay by my side" - smother me by the used

"i've got a tight grip on reality
but i can't let go of what's in front of me here
i know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up

leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream" - the only exception by paramore

"i was born to tell you i love you" - your call by secondhand serenade

"Hands over my head thinking 'what else could go wrong?'
Would've stayed in bed, how can a day be so long?
Never believed that things happen for a reason
But how this turned out, you moved all my doubts, oh believe
That for you I'll do it all over again
Do it all over again" - again by bruno mars

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kung ang puso ay para lang laruan na pwede e assemble pag nasira ito na siguro ang ginagawa ko ngayon.. there's too much badshit in this world i know, but in the contrary without suffering, there will be no compassion.. ito naman ang lss ko ngaun share ko lang sa inyon lahat..

"I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away" - broken by seether feat. amy lee (evanescence)

current song: senti by moonstar88

currently feeling: lonely

hanggang dito nalang muna... reassembling atm..

russ 'dgreat