Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts

Friday, February 4, 2011

what to do with your lips...

An excerpt from BOY MEETS GIRL, Say Hello To Courtship...

Only few days after I bought my cell phone, the calls started pouring in. Unfortunately, they weren't for me. It turned out that my phone number had previously belonged to a Domino Pizza Shop. Now at all hours of the day and night people were ringing me with their orders.

"I'm sorry," I'd say, "but this isn't Dominos Pizza. Yes, you dialed the right number. It's just that now it's the number of my cell phone. No, I'm afraid I don't have Domino's new number. Yes. I'm sure they'll honor you two-for-one coupon. Bye."

Most people understood. What I found hilarious were the callers who refused take no for an answer.
"I'd like to order a large cheese pizza," a lady told me.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, this isn't Domino's," I said. "You've reached my personal cell phone."
"How much will it cost?" she asked.
"I have no idea, this is not..."
"Well, When can you deliver it?" she persisted.
"I can't bring you a pizza."
"You don't deliver?!"
"I don't make pizza!"

---------More than just talking------------

Communication. It's not such a simple thing, is it? Besides the complications created by our sinful tendencies and the differences between men and women, we have to deal with wrong phone numbers!

Even the best relationships have their "cheese pizza" moments. These are the times when instead of talking to each other, we talk past each other; time when we're so easily offended of the real issue; moments when we're so focused on ourselves that we forget that hearing isn't they know how to talk.
A lot of people assume that since they know how to talk, they must know how to communicate. If only it were that easy. Like what happened to the conversation above, they really weren't communicating. Why weren't they? Because communication is more than just speaking; it's listening. And it's more that just listening; it's understanding and properly responding to what we've heard. Clear communication occurs when two people know not only what to say, but when and how to say it.

Many couples assume that since they talk a lot and have romantic feelings for each other, they're communicating well. That isn't necessarily true. It's possible to exchange thousands of words with people and never learn what they believe or value or feel. It's possible to fall in love with what you imagine someone is like, yet never see him or her for who they really are.

Maybe the title made you think that it's going to discuss the proper timing and technique for locking lips with your sweetheart. Sorry - you won't find that here. The most important thing your lips can do right now isn't kissing, it's communicating.

Monday, November 8, 2010

conflict and communication....

...the absence of conflict doesn't equal good communication...
In their book LOVE THAT LASTS, Gary and Betsy Rucucci share
ten tips for communication that can help you when you're expe-
riencing conflict in your relationship...

1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly, but
without accusing or attacking the othe person (Proverbs 11:9)

2. Choose words, expressions, and a tone of voice that are kind
and gentle. Don't use speech that could easily offend or spark
an argument. (Proverbs 15:1)

3. Dont' exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme
words like never and always (Ephesians 4:25)

4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes
before you communicate. Stay away from generalities.

5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your
grievances. Getting even isn't the goal - you want to get things
resolved. (Romans 12:17-21)

6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling and needing.
Try to detect his or her underlying concerns (James 1:19)

7.Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument.
Though these emotions are normal, indulging them is sin
(Ephesians 4:26)

8.Don't hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick
to forgive the other person. Make sure you don't hold a grudge.
(Luke17:3-4)

9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure that you
both understand clearly what the other is saying and feeling. En-
courage each other as you press toward a solution (Romans14:19)

10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at
the right time in the right way for the right reasons!

Remember, conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. And don't be
surprised if you experience it. It's a sign that you're really getting
to know each other. Don't run from it; instead, ask for God's help
to humbly and lovingly resolve it..